Enunciate

Yesterday for St.-Green-Beer-hell-yeah-lets-get-our-drink-on-even-if-its-Thursday-and-I-have-to-work-in-the-fucking-morning day I found my drankin partner. Sam I am. 


I met up with her at some this bar. Shit I forgot the name. Oh Yard house. 
I had to wait for her because she was still driving to me and I needed a drink. 
I had a beer...by myself while I patiently waited. I was surrounded by a bunch of people dressed in green. Green shirts, green beads, green tu-tu's, green hats, green shoes, green piercing accessories and shit. DAYUM. People were fucking serious about this. 


I was wearing a dress. 
That was not green. 


No worries I didn't feel left out. Shit. It was a cute dress after all. 


Sam I am finally shows up and onward in our catching up drinking expedition starts. 
We talk about gangsta's, penis size, boners, being a whore/slut, and all of that other stuff you catch up with girlfriends talk. But mostly about dongs. 


We had a few beers and by that time my stomach announced that it was going to eat itself unless I got something other than beer in there. 
We finally get a seat after what seemed to be eternity and ordered our delicious food. 


After stuffing my face with delicious penne pasta with chicken and mushrooms...mmm, I was stuffed. Like I couldn't move, stuffed. Like my stomach bloated 5 times it's normal chubby, stuffed. Like I was going to blow up, stuffed. Like I might have passed out for a few seconds, stuffed.  Like I needed to take a motherfucking power nap, stuffed. You get the point I'm trying to make here, I was stuffed! 


So our server comes over and asks us if we needed anything else.
I say "Yeah I need a cot"
His eyes get big and he is all "What?" 
Sam is all "What?!" 
I am all "Yeah a cot, dude! I am tired" 
Relief washes over his face when I enunciate the 'T' at the end of coT. 


He thought I said cock. 


Silly boy, I told him I could use some of that too.