Eyes on Me

Derek thinks that I am paranoid about people who stare. Fuck it maybe I am. 

I notice this gawking issue though probably more than most. 

I take in my surroundings people, I notice shit being done. 

To brush me off and act like what I say is wrong is wrong in itself D! 

People stare at me. It makes me itchy and uncomfortable. I always think that there is something wrong with me, that or as Derek would put it "paranoid". 

I have proven this to him though, several times about the eagle eyes on me. 

Walking into Mimi's Cafe~

We walked in to ask for a table and the snooty girl looks me down then up and turns to show us our table. 

Nudge on the arm, shaking my head..."See Derek that is the shit I am talking about" Nudge, nudge. 

"What are you talking about?" He asks all confused knowing damn well he knows what is coming.

"Did you NOT see that bitch just look at me like that? In front of me???!! What the fuck?" I respond once snooty bitch was out of range. 

What the hell? 

I wore a dress yesterday. A cute red and pink dress I bought. I looked like a chubby school girl, it was adorable. Length  and cut was perfect for work. Heels were on point and all that jazz. 

Everything was going fine, I was feeling like 5 bucks all over the office. No one noticed me, which is preferable. 

Then I went to lunch at the cafe downstairs.

Every other person was starting at me while I was waiting for my food to be called up. 

I am not talking about the oops-I-just-glanced-and-got-caught-looking-at-you I am talking about the full head down to the motherfucking toes eyeballs rolling away once done stare down. 

Did I tuck my dress into my undies? Did I have a glob of Derek's magical shot glass juice in my hair? COME ON! 

I felt naked. I immediately called D and told him because I was feeling super fucking itchy at that point and needed something to do with my hands. 

"Hello" 

"People are staring at me Derek" I whispered

*Sigh "What?" I could hear the same exasperated tone in his voice

"I feel like something is wrong with me. All kinds of folks is staring at me right fucking now" Is all I said awkwardly looking at my pretty feet. 

"I have to go, just ignore them"  He said

Click.

Fuck, now what? 

They were STARING, those fucking corporate assholes. All I wanted to do was eat some fucking sangwhich alone without a bother. BUT NO people wanted to make me feel like my dress was see-through or something.  

Omg. Was my dress see-through? Shit. I couldn't tell because I was wearing it. I don't look at myself in the reflection of the building for fear of hating the way I am dressed. I avoid that shit. 

Then I went to school. More people stared. 

People have serious staring problems. (Jen you know what I am talking about!! AHAHAHAHA...we won't go there right now.) 

No but seriously, stop looking at me, I am not that person who is a walking model. Haha. Cough. 

I almost choked with that one. 

I am an average looking twentysomethingorother woman.  

Stop starting at me people, you make me itch!