Thought my life Sucked

After this week of hell and disappointment, I realized that I am pretty lucky.
My life still sucks, but hey it could be worse.

I have mentioned before the Ethics class that I am taking this semester.
We had a guest speaker in class yesterday, made me really change the way I looked at my life, even after this weeks shenanigans:

• Genavive getting suspended
• Guy friend (birthday boy) ditching my b-day lunch for him for shopping!
•  Not finding a place to sit at Native because stupid bitch was saving seats
• Not getting into a program, even after giving a kick-ass interview
• Not finding resources for my child
• and the list grows daily

I was starting to fall apart. I cant tell you why, it just donned on me that my life fuckin sucked. BAD.
Until I get to class and learned about Ms. Dominguez. 
Usually when we have a special guest they don't share details of their ordeals with the class, which is fine but makes for boring stories.You know the I did drugs, went to jail, got in trouble, god saved me routine.
We have had a couple of speakers, but their stories weren't compelling and I wanted to fall asleep in my seat during them......zzzz 


On to last nights class.
I sat in my usual seat by the front in the middle of the class, I could see our speaker clearly.
She starts off by telling us about her childhood, which was bizarre and saddening.
By going through therapy she was able to talk about everything that happened to her without crying.
Her memories of early childhood were crazy, everything from being drunk at an early age from her uncle giving her beer to being high all the time because her father smoked all day with her and 4 other siblings in the room. This eventually lead her to selling and doing drugs. He father had her selling dope at 13 years old! Imagine! Her own dad.
They never celebrated birthdays or holidays with the exception of getting a baggie of pot one Christmas.
She talked about being molested by her Aunts and uncles until she was about 8.
This was normal to her family.
She eventually got gang raped and in turn got pregnant from it. By this time she was already addicted to her drugs of choice, heroin & crack. Gross. 
She said that she had done every drug known to man kind. 
She did drugs all throughout her 5 pregnancies (pregnancies produced by multiple rapes)
Her first she kept, second one she gave up for adoption to a Christian family, third was an abortion (which stuck with her), the rest were adopted to her sisters.
She became a prostitute to keep up with her drug habits. Got arrested multiple time, was shot 5 times, raped hundreds of times, was robbed, beat up and throughout all of this she succeeded in becoming the sober person that she has been for 2 and a half years.
While she talked her eyes kept on drifting to me more than other students.
I found myself sitting forward wanting to know more of what made her change all of a sudden.
The reason her story compelled me is because somewhere in my family there is a person that it reminded me of, with the exception that she isn't sober today. Nor has she been, even in prison.

After listening to all this lady had been through I have to say, sometimes I am a selfish shit and my life is great compared to those who live it like she did.
Sure life may bring me down every so often but hey it could be worse.