Read first (here) if you don't know what the hell is going on.
You know I need to get a life when I get all amped up over getting a fucking email. That is just sad people.
Anyway....about this response, it was again out of the blue. Remember I was expecting to wait like a whole lifetime for this shit and Sir Jen's dad surprised me with an early gift of awesomeness.
Here we go.
*Side note, @ CMAC I assume he does talk like that, so Jen says. Remember he hasn't said more that like 3 sentences to me since I have know these people. Seriously.
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Excellent synopsis and initial prognosis of our perp. Assessing the weaponry listed I will assume you are well versed and trained in the use of such arsenal which will be welcomed when this case becomes turbulent. And speaking of, I am compelled by law to advise you prior to your deputizing that this particular career/line of work in which you are embarking can at times become quite dangerous and possibly detrimental to your health, in short "you cud b capped."
- Show quoted text -
Damn he was a good one.
"you cud b capped" had me.
By the way these are cut and pasted into this blog, only names/email addresses have been protected.
I told you I know he is on to me.
I created yet another genius response that may or may not make sense since it was written in the heat of the moment a.k.a lunch time.
| hide details Nov 5 (3 days ago) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Sir Senior Investigator/boss,
Why thank you. I believe that is an accurate assessment of the perp we are probing.
Current progress: There was a breach via text message on October 31, 2010 at 6:41 p.m.
According to my trusty security group, all was clear this week regarding any physical interference. Except for the fact that on Wednesday night approximatively 7:26 p.m. you left the perimeter after taking the garbage bin out to talk to the gentleman who resides 180° due south for an excessive amount of time. The scapegoat was vulnerable, I repeat scapegoat was vulnerable! Please inform Jen of the dangers from the known culprit and to secure all entrances and exits to the property.
I am highly acquainted with the weapons produced and that hazards that go along with said weapons. I also did not mention that there are safety precautions that need to be paid heed so I will look into bulletproof vest and suits of armor.
You may be unclear of my career path, just so you know there will be instances where I will be putting a cap in some asses as part of my duty. This does not deter me or scare me mind you. The only obstacle in order for me to get on with the Phoenix Pd will be a polygraph test, I am working on being able to manipulate the test with tape, highlighters, Styrofoam pieces and popsicle sticks.
Additional items:
I ordered some nun chucks as well just in case my old western pistols are not enough (he is a ex-Navy man by the way) to take him down but I have to wait for 2 weeks for them to come in. I will start training with those once they are in my possession.
I was going to order the pink stun gun but the trajectory of the standard stun gun may not be enough to penetrate his tough hide. We will leave that out of our motley of arms.
I think we have enough to close in.
10-6 Sir investigator 10-6!
Salutations,
Secret Agent
Rox
I sent it.
Yeah I really did.
Laughing so hard at work because I am such a loser that gets so excited about writing a bunch of bullshit.
See, it's not very hard to distract or entertain me.
I welcome all entertainment types except Jo Coy because I hate the way his mouth moves.
It's creepy.
Oh yeah the best part of this all was on Saturday. I received a text from Jen.
We were in the car after watching "Mega Mind" with the demon children I get the following message:
Jen: Pops n I got ya sumthing!
Me: Porn?
Me: (trying to retract that last statement for fear of her pops reading message) Samurai Sword?
I laughed sooo hard.
Really?
Really?
A baby sword?
HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THAT?!!!!!
HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THAT?!!!!!
I am now going to have to buy some ninja gear and show up at their house in it.
When the door opens I will say "I'm here to train!!"
Can't say "no" to that right?
By-the-way we went out for drink Friday night at the same location she met the perp.
When we walked in I told her to text her pops that I executed a sweep and all was clear.
Trust me I was out on a mission to see if crazy was there. Thankfully I didn't have to whip out the pepper spray, all hell would have broken loose! BWAHAHA.
I get so excited about kicking ass.
About Jen's seemingly conservative dad:
I guess he is funny after all.
Until next time.
Signing off
Until next time.
Signing off
Rox
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