Intimidation

There seems to be a recurring theme when Jen and I go out. 
I call it the deodorant of our lives, also known as "attracting the creeps." 




It starts out with a decrepit 70 year-old coming up to us to tell us that 
A) we are beautiful and 
B) he is old enough to be our grampy BUT he is filthy rich AND owns a fabric store. 
Everyone loves fabric! All kids of fabric. Did he mention he is super rich? Because if you didn't get that by the look of his average clothes and shoes that look like they have traveled more miles than I have driven, don't worry I am sure he will reiterate again, you know of the richness. Because he is and he would love to make us pillows with his fabric from his fabric store. Only thing is, we are going to have to pay for the filling ourselves. We can go cotton filing but if we are fancy enough let's say fuck it and go with the goose-down. 


Oh I almost forgot, he also owns golf bag that cost him $25,000 (that fucking rich ya'll), but we still need to pay for the pillow filling ourselves. So I guess its cotton filling for us broke bitches.


What do we say to this? 
Nothing we simply nodded our heads and agreed with old timer. 


Shit, I can't even make this up it was that strange.

Okay, that was one night, but still. Who does that? 
Creepy, rich, old wrinkled balled men do. 


We wondered about the men that refuse to talk to us when we are out and about or even ones that we force to talk to us. What?! Yes, force...from time to time. 
No matter. 
We are cute. 
Right?...


RIGHT!!!


RIGHT!!!


motherfucker. 


*sigh

For some weird reason guys do not talk to us. We are friendly. Probably too friendly to some. 
The guys that rarely come up to us are too much crazy for either one of us to handle. It always ends in heartbreak, 3 minutes later. 
While we drink away the night Jen and I talk, no good looking approaching men in sight. This always happens. ALWAYS. 


Not like we are looking, but still. Boost the ego once in a while for ol' times sake. 


Several times when we have asked semi-attractive or hot men why they don't talk to us they say the same line every time "You guys are intimidating." 


Is there a anti Rox and Jen network that we don't know about? Website perhaps? I will have to research this. 


It's like a bad punch-line waiting to happen. A bad joke being told with the same fucking answer every time.


"You guys are intimidating" (say it with a man voice it sounds better) 


What?!! 
Really? 


I usually look around, because I do not understand that little comment. At all. Nope. Not even a little bit. 


I have heard this comment A LOT the last several months. That is a wee bit too much if you ask me. 


"What the fuck you mean we are intimidating?" 


Is that some asshole excuse or what? 
Yes, yes it is, I say.


Look, you can't kill two birds with one stone with that stupid statement. Intimidating to you to try to make us seem high and mighty while you get away with not talking to women you don't want to talk to. (Lots of [to's, tos' toes ??..I'm not a good at the English] hope you can keep up)


I call BULLSHIT. 
To your faces. You assholes. 


Read:

Intimidation (according to Dictionary.com) 


–verb (used with object), -dat·ed, -dat·ing.

1.

to make timid; fill with fear.

2.

to overawe or cow, as through the force of personality or bysuperior display of wealth, talent, etc.

3.

to force into or deter from some action by inducing fear: tointimidate a voter into staying away from the polls.

Number 1. - I fill no one with fear. I'm only 5'4 and not big. Jen is 5'3 has great hair and does not fill me with the fear. 


Numero 2. - AHAHAHAHA THAT.IS.HILARIOUS! NEXT!!!! Overawe...AHAHA


That brings us to number 3. - We deter? By inducing fear? Come on men. Really? 


Look at us:

PICTURE HAS BEEN REMOVED 

I'm not sure how to take that anymore. I am starting to think that there is something terribly wrong with us. We just can't see it. 


Intimidation you say? 
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU! 
FUCK YOUUUUUUU!!
What is really wrong with us that makes you squirm away? COME ON GIVE IT TO US! We can handle it!!! 


Pussies. 


At graduation I got one reason why "the mens" do not like me like that. 
My guy friend was checking out some ladies and mentioned that he never saw any of these hot chicks on campus. "Well hello! It's called makeup, trust, it works wonders like one would not believe." Is what I said.  
He looked at me and said "Hey, don't get me wrong or anything, you are pretty and all but you are more like a guy." 


Really? 
WOW.
I am a dude. 
To him. 


Was that an insult? 
Probably not, because I am awesome and am like one of the guys.


Let's face it me and Jen are like men, no scratch that. We think/act/talk like men is what I meant to say. 


Please stop using "intimidation" as a bullshit excuse, if you don't want to talk to us just fucking say it and we can move on. Easy, peasy bitches.