Muscles

I got a queen sized bed recently.


It was in pieces, you know the head board and the side things and the end thing with a few scews. 
Yeah you can totally tell I have no idea of what the fuck I'm talking about, but just act like I do.


I had to put my new bed together alone and sans tools. 
It looked so simple.
Sitting there looking all easy. 
Easy enough for my tiny brain to figure out. 
4 big pieces, some screws, really, how hard can it be?
Sheeeeiiit. 
After trying unsuccessfully to fit the screw with the small washers into the holes about four times I gave up. 
To be completely honest I don't know what side the washers were supposed to go on anyway. 
Arms thrown up in the air, fist flying in circles around me, making noises that I am ashamed of making. Like a broken half-horse half-human, snorting through my nose. It was awful.  


Fuck this shit! 
Heavy ass side pieces.
No screwdriver!  
COME ON!!!!!


I gave up.


Until almost an hour later, I realized that I have little baby muscles. I could totally do it. 
I sat on my dusty floor once more and took one look at my arms as I flexed. 
That was all I needed to get the job done. 
I know. Weird. 
Look at these arms baby! I got this shit! Let's do it. 
By god my muscles are tiny, but that is besides the point. 


The point of this was.....
Wait, what was the point? 


Shit. 


I forgot. 


OHH, OHH I know, the bed! 
So I got the bed screwed together. 


Even though afterwards I was sweating into my tank top and into my ass crack, huffing and puffing, hair all messed up sticking to my back.

I am Rox the motherfucking champ!! 
As I stood back to admire my handiwork I might have done this. 

Not might, I did do that. 
I totally deserve a drink for that one.  
No help from anyone. I am almost like a grownup. 


Now when I get the mattress on it I can only hope that shit does not fall underneath me. 
That would be a shame, I would just blame the people who put my bed together, if anyone asks.