A law clerk you ask. Yeah, me too.
I don't know what the fuck a Law Clerk does but I hope they don't get paid more than I do. That would be a crying shame.
Making room at the office for a new "law clerk" we have to move shit around. Like you know books, stacks of old cases, mountains of paper, old machines, more paper, office junk, more paper and all that other crap offices contain, but mostly paper.
Our office isn't very big either. It's full of papers and bullshit that people apparently have trouble parting with. Say the big ass old copier that is used by no one. It just sits there like a fat lazy blob.
Doing nothing but collecting dust and looking ugly.
So one of the guys asked me to research recycling or donating this monstrous machine that may or may not work. Great. That's what I get paid for folks. Recycling shit.
Google and I started working together and why the flying fuck do all of these websites have a lot of nothing on ginormous copiers trying to be recycled? Copiers that are almost obsolete and are older than my youngest sister who is 14. That means that this thing was made when I was 10 years old and it is the ugliest thing I have laid eyes on right after Cat Face lady and Carrot Top. Just ugly!
I didn't find much. So I decide to lookup the next best thing.
I googled "How to throw a heavy copier out of a window" and am presented with this bullshit:
This is NOT HELPING Google.
Forget recycling. I wanna throw something out the window. Preferably a heavy Xerox copier. Why not? No one is going to miss it.
Although I am positive it would be frowned upon. That and I am on the 10th floor.
Okay toss that idea out the window. Get it? AHAHA. NO? Fine. Moving on.
Recycling and/or disposing of said copier costs money. Money people in the office are not willing to spend on just to have someone take the sonofabitch away. I am presented with another dilemma. No one here has a truck willing to use to take it to be destroyed.
What to do? What to do?
Who wants a giant dusty copier with a few kinks that may or may not work? Anyone? I am located in Mid-town Phoenix Arizona. Email me. Thanksforyourconsideration now come get this piece of shit out of my office, I'll throw in a cup of coffee too.
