I suppose that is to much wishful thinking. Damn it!
While out with my girls this weekend and some other weekends for that matter I noticed one thing about women that I find positively revolting.
You will know what I am talking about ladies when I ask: Do you know how to use a toilet and if you do why don't you use it correctly?
That goes without saying same for men. Trust me on this shit I have been in mens restrooms when I cannot hold it in and there is a line 10 deep for women. I go in sneakily but go in nonetheless.
So while out and about ladies looking hot dancing, flirting, drinking, don't forget to shit at home!
And if you really need to shit please, please I cannot stress this enough FLUSH the motha-fucking toilet!
Even if is just a little urine, just flush. Flush with a bit of tissue, flush with your hand, flush with your shoe if you really don't want to touch the handle. Electric flusher is great but not all establishments can afford that luxury so if your toilet does not flush when your ass lifts from the seat then you know that you have to manually do it.
Why can't I ever go out and have a clean toilet? Free of debris and splashes? WHY?
I'm sure you (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!) don't do that shit at home, why feel the need to be disgusting in public?
I don't get it.
Right way: Pull down pants, pee while hovering or sit on the actual bowl, do your business, wipe, throw soiled paper in toilet or trash, FLUSH, be on your merry way.
Wrong way: Pull down pants/pull up skirts halfway, pee all over the fucking place, splash on the floor/ lid and bowl, don't wipe (I don't care if you get a UTI bitch) or toss your shit paper on the floor, then walk out of there without flushing. UGHHHH.
Now if you are going to poop in public do the courtesy flush so you wont smell up the place!
We have all done it, the hurry up and shit while out in the world. Sitting on the throne wishing that we were in the comfort of our own home to relax and read a magazine. the beauty of privacy.
Women who don't flush or women who wipe and smear that shit everywhere I want to let you know that others have to clean up your mess.
We should have signs posted: If you make a mess we will find you and make you clean it!
Brilliant! Daaaaaamn i'm good.
Personally if it is a seedy place I will hover no matter how drunk I am, I sometimes splash depending on how full my bladder is...I still get toilet paper and wipe all around the seat, how courteous am I????
We can't all be like me, but we can try to keep toilets from looking like port-o-potty's.
They flush folks!
Sometimes you just cant hold it I know. Take wipes with you, trust me on this one.
I love wipes, even baby wipes..shit I don't care I love a clean ass. Dry paper does not cut it when you need to poo.
I suggest these babies:
Works wonders on ones ass.
AND THEY ARE FLUSHABLE...unless you are in a place that has shitty ass water pressure.
No matter where the place is located you will always have someone who will fuck it all up and try to flush their pad or dirty undies down the toilet. Quit that shit or go home!
Stop clogging the shitters and wipe the fucking seat. Let's keep it clean people!!!!
Speak on it! Women think their shit don't stink, but that's a lie. Their shit stinks just as bad as men. I spent years working at nightclubs, so I have seen this stink myself. Shame on all of you women who have ever dared to lecture a man about leaving the lid up, when later on that night, when you're drunk at the club, you feel you have the right to shit-splatter your sushi and appletinis all over the toilet bowl, and leave a tampon smear on the floor. Get real, nasty bitches. Grow up!
ReplyDeleteThank you, for bringing this far too long ignored plague of society to our attention.