Funky

The feet situation again.


When I am in a rush at 7:20 a.m to get into my car to drive the lovely hour in traffic to get to work I sometimes am absent minded of the shoes I toss on. 


The other day I grabbed a pair that was not a pair of heels. I thought my feet needed a break for once.
I grabbed a pair of flats. So comfy for me! 
Got my ass to work. Worked somewhat. 
I went outside to smoke, came back in. Sat on my ass.
So they got a little sweaty while I was outside. So what?!! 
Then the worst thing happened.  
I slipped my shoes slightly off so that my feet could breathe. 


Uhem...*slight cough. Oh shit. 
I smelled something tangy. Almost tasting it.
WTF? "Oh hell no, is that my feet?" I thought.

After a few minutes the stench got worse.


Oh my. 
The smell was getting to me. Now it smelled more pungent than before. 
No bueno. My smell sensory sense was going into overload. I started feeling sick. 
This was worse than my trailies of flatulence throughout the office. 


It was bad.OH MY GOD. IT REEKED. 
How come I didn't notice it before? 


I had people from the office at my desk and I was starting to worry about them detecting foul smelling feet.  
A brilliant idea hit me just then.  


I casually got up, looked around as soon as I could ran into the restroom.
Got a ton of paper towels laid them all over the bottom of the tall ass sink. 
Washed feet.
Yes, I said washed feet as in I took my shoes off, rolled up my pants, did some gymnastic tricks to reach the sink, turned on faucet, took some soap in napkin and washed/scoured vigorously then dried.
Then tried to get the toxic smell out of my shoes. But it wasn't that bad. hmm. 


I felt much better after. As soon as I could I was going to put some flip flops on when I got to my car. 


My feet were fresh and clean now. 
Shiiit. *fingers snapping


I was walking around like my shit didn't stink. Because technically it didn't. anymore. hahaha


I felt dandy after that. 
It was time for lunch. 


I walked into the kitchen and realized that, that smell was actually someones meal. 
not.my.feet.

Did I just scrub the shit out of my feet in the bathroom for nothing? 


fuck.