Incoherent B.S.

I always tell friends of mine to recommend readings that they loved. Because I don't like to read shit. I love to cry to a good book, hell even better is when they make me laugh so hard I cry. My friend (who I recently turned into a avid book reader) Mel told me about this motivating book she got done reading. I thought hells yeah, hook me up! 


What happened was she read this book and was inspired. In fact she was so inspired by this wondrous piece of work that she went on vacation to New York City. Alone. By herself. She left her man here in AZ. And just went. To go ride her bike in Manhattan.  


I thought wow, I want to read some of this good feely book. Like, who wouldn't?


Since I am cool and have a Kindle I don't need to travel anywhere to go buy said book. Whispernet delivers within seconds. Like magic right? 


My dear Mr. Kindle. I love you so. His name is Benedict by the way.


Anyway. So. About this book.
I started reading it and got through the first couple of chapters. Then some terrible shit happened.


You are now thinking I dropped my precious Benedict, spilled some h2o on him, or a goat chewed him up to pieces or something even more horrible right? No.


This book was actually putting me to sleep. Literally. I would try to read it and alas I found my sleeping aid.  Namely "Eat, Pray, Love" 


What a piece of shit. 


I thought I would have a book burning event to destroy that monstrosity of a book and was even going to invite those that wanted to destroy some other material that they wasted precious time on, books like Wuthering Heights or anything Anita Shreve for that matter. 
Then I remembered it is in Mr. Benedict and I can't go burning my Kindle. 


What to do in a sticky situation as such? 
I can:
A) go after friend that referred this crap to me and teach her a lesson.
B) Complete book and never again in my life read anything from same author. 
or C) Go out, waste money and buy the book and conduct book burning in my backyard as planned.


C sounds so tempting. 
Nothing against you praying lovers that like to eat or anything. That book was baloney. 
Boring ass baloney.

Where is the tragedy? Where is the gruesome bloody murders? Where is the afflicted emotional teenager? Where is all of the sex?  Where is the mystery? Where is the romantic guy swooping his mistress off her feet and onto his bed? Where is the love? Ok, not so much for that last one as weird people interpret love for some spiritual voodoo that one can obtain through meditation or whatever they believe in. I don't know. Don't go quoting me.  


Sorry Nel...but what was this tomfoolery you were trying to pull on me with this crap someone published? 


If talking about oneself excessively is the accomplishment publishers are looking for to publish then why not promulgate this debauchery that is my blog?


Seriously, I couldn't even get through the whole book. It is stuck at 82% on my Kindle. I was almost to the end. I just couldn't bring myself to waste anymore time on it. I rather watch a roll of wet shit paper dry, than finish reading Me, Me, Me.
Cant.finish.crappy.book...it was like every time I looked at Benedict that fucker taunted me with his contents. 


Finish, he whispered to me. "Hell NO Mr. Benedict, I WILL NOT!" I replied throwing him onto my book shelf. 
What a fucking dick that Benedict. Teasing momma like that. Of course I am not going to finish Benedict do you want be thrown out on your ass? HMMMMM??... Silence....Yeah that is what I thought. 


I really tried though. Tried and tried. I just kept on thinking "What the fuck is this shit I am reading?" The funny thing is I read trashy ass novels galore even some dirty stuff, but this was some retarded ass fucking piece of absurd bullshit that no one should be subjected to. 
What kind of stupid do you have to be to actually like this? No offense, but REALLY? COME ON! 


Just when I though it was over I saw a preview for the movie. Ugh. Really A MOVIE FOR THIS SHIT?!!! 
Good Lord please help those people that actually never read the book and defer them to a different movie. PRETTY PLEASE. 
People out there in the world DO NOT FALL FOR THIS. Trust, if movie was as bad as the book you will want to conduct a book/dvd burning of your own and I don't think cities/towns like when people administer book burnings of their own. If they've read it though that might be a different story, they might just supervise the affair. We can send smoke signals to the gods to tell them about this catastrophe called "Crap, Bullshit, Fuck!" 

Fuck that book. Right in the ass, I am sure that is all she needed anyway. A real nice, good pounding then all of that "finding herself" would have been fulfilled or just her filled. Bwahaha. 


This is just my review of this stupid time waster. If you feel differently fine, GOOD FOR YOU IF YOU LIKED THAT SHIT!


Now Mr. Benedict is tainted for life. FUCK!