Patron

So as you know from my post from not so long ago, Patron that sneaky little bastard wanted to hang out again. 


Being it was a 3 day weekend I thought oh hell why not? So I went to the store and picked his ass up. 


It was me and Patron for the weekend. 

Of course Derek wanted to go to Ajo. For those of you who don't know where or what this place is let me just say that it blows. Big time. It is located about an hour and a half outside Phoenix. I only went because I heard that there was going to be some hard core dranking amongst friends and you know I can't pass that shit up. 


Off we went to Ajo. 
Got to our destination. Party was started.
I started off with a light beer. (I need to watch my weight) Then another light beer. A friend there had a ice chest full of these Alabama Slam-ma shots (not to bad) and Four Loko's in all sorts of flavors. Oh my! 


This guy was trying to give me the third degree of how smashed I would get after drinking the 12% alcohol content of Four Loko after drinking those beers. HAHA *eye roll Little did he know. 
I soon forgot about my amigo, but out came Patron to play. A shot down I was feeling great!  


So great in fact that I started hearing things that should have not been heard. Maybe I shouldn't post this. 
Oh what the hell.....
There I was in my drunken state, feeling fantastic making drunk calls to my friends. Talking about drunk matters. When I head back to the crowd. There's lots of laughing going on and all of the sudden I hear a slurred "Ever had a threesome?" I see from the corner of my eye who it is and am in shock. We will keep this person anonymous for safety reasons. 


I stand there like a tard acting like I did not hear this. Yes Rox, it was your imagination. HAHA Yeah right I am not that creative! 


This ménage à trois comment was then followed by a "I wanna fuck you"
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Whaaaattttt? 


Trying hard to concentrate to find an escape I quickly down my beer and head out to 'use the potty'. Quickly to save face I do not go near Derek until I knew it was safe. I then whisper to him what was said and he gives me his "Are you on crack?" look. 
No fuck face someone told me they want to do me and their other persons in the nasty way. 


Oh man, this just got weird. 
I want to say that even in my befuddled state there was no way in hell that the transaction this person was trying to conduct with me was going to happen. 


Really? What the hell was that about? 


Thankfully that was the end of that. 


We drank the night away and of course the night would have not been complete unless I injured myself in some way.


See this always without fail happens to me. I come home obliterated and next morning I have some sort of bruise, cut, bite or something that I did not have the night before.


Lucky me I got not only one but three cuts on my legs! WHOOO. Told ya. 
Stupid ice chest got in my way and reached out to cut me!  mother fucker. 
Now my poor legs will be forever scarred. 


I did not realize how drunk I got until I woke up a couple of hours after passing out and looking around and asking myself:

Who's room is this? 
Where the hell am I?
What the fuck?


Then remembering that I was in Ajo in Derek's grandma's spare room. 
Only then was I able to get some more shut eye. 


Silly Patron, he tried to pull a fast one on me. I am on to him. 
Next time I am getting him back. 
Again this weekend?