Breakdown #1

My final for my "math for dummies" class was this last week and if you know me you know I suck at math.
Derek being a genius that he is has been helping me.
When I say Derek is a genius I mean he came from a small town (a very small town) and that is what everyone knows him by is 'the smart guy'.

Anyway about this breakdown. It was not a manic episode (as I am not manic anyway), panting like a wildcat, anxiety attack, finding out my sister slept with a old boyfriend (totally not true as I would rip out her eyelashes piece by piece), breaking my phone, losing my only set of car keys kind of breakdown. This was an illusive one. Totally misleading to my character.

By the way before I continue let me say that I was terribly sick all of last week so please keep in mind that a) I was feeling like shit b) I had the beginnings of the curse and was WAY bloated like a whale and c) I had to cram for the final which was the next day.

So there we were sitting at the kitchen table with papers filled with algebraic equations tossed everywhere.
I had a review sheet of all of the types of problems that were going to be on the final and that is what we were reviewing. Derek starts writing a problem and I can't figure it out. As I do not read or speak gibberish.

REALLY???? This is bullshit. Yeah because some day I might run into a sign that has 5a +5b and in order for me to save the world I will have to hurry and solve the equation. Right. 
Anyway so I had a similar problem and unfortunatly I didn't know where to start or how to even begin. So I start raising my voice (just a little) for him to do it and I will watch and hopefully catch on.
Derek did not agree with this method.
He wanted me to take the reins and do it while he helped me along. Well feeling like shit I was getting a tad irritated because I didn't know the next step. So again I impatiently tell him to do it and I will follow.
He says "No". I say "YES!" He says "You can't learn that way, you have to do it yourself"...
Ahem... Me: "Whattttt?" (while staring at him in my did-you-really-just-tell-me-that look)
At this point I don't know what overcame me but got sooo frustrated, angry, disappointed, depressed and still felt like shit....I was going to blow.
I looked at the scrap of paper at the problem and again I say "I can't doooo thisssss"
Then I felt the tears coming on.

Instead of working through it, I did something I have not done in a long, long time.
I threw a fit. A bad fit. I had reached my FUCK YOU WORLD threshold and grew uneasy.
I grabbed my math book and the papers laying on it and shoved them with all my might off of the table along with the rest of whatever the fuck was on the table. Papers flew everywhere, and I ran away like a little scared damsel. That math problem was my nightmare...an ugly, ugly, disturbing nightmare.
I ran through my bedroom, slammed the door (very dramatically I may add), crossed into the bathroom crawled into my closet and sat against the door while crying, big hard sobs.
wtf?
I have no idea where this monster came from, but I did not like this bitch.
Pms? DAYUUM. Major problem.
I is crazy. Out-of-control!

Of course 15 minutes pass before I shot most of my snot into the first piece of clothing I could find and Derek comes knocking on the door.
By then I kicked the monsters ass and felt a little better.

I felt like a complete asshole.
After all Derek was just trying to help.

Fuck now I have to make it up with something or other.